Typical
by LxZrulez
Summary: ZeLink, AU. Performances that make me dizzy, Valentine's day, psycho best friends...Yet even with all that going on, nothing seems to matter. Nothing but someone who thinks of me as nothing more than a sister. For PitFTW's and Foxpilot's AU Contest.
1. Chapter 1

***sigh* I'm a pathetic creature, I know. I've been stuck at writer's block for who knows how long...It's a miracle I actually managed to get off of it.  
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**This first attempt at a contest entry was the result of... weirdness. Don't ask. Please.**

**Anyhow, please read, and review.  
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There's nothing like a pissed off friend to ruin a perfectly good Saturday afternoon. Especially when that said friend has a tendency to blow up when she's pissed. And so, the consequences aren't really that good for your health, right? Blown up houses aren't beneficial for the already deteriorating health of the world.

It's times like these when I wonder why I hang out with people like that.

"ZELDA SHEIK HARKINIAN! YOU GET YOUR LAZY BUTT DOWN HERE BEFORE I COME UP AND KICK IT DOWN!" Samus hollered in an irritated voice. Dangit. I had no idea that the boys would actually be here before the expected time. Usually they were later than me. And that was saying something.

"Coming!" I yelled back as I swung my bag over my shoulder and dashed out the door. My cute-but not entirely utilitarian- sandals caused me to slip as I stumbled down the stairs two at a time. Adding to the huge racket was the long string of profanities I muttered as I hobbled down the stairway, trying – and failing—to keep my klutzy body upright. My problems with balance weren't entirely the shoes' fault; I could barely walk across a nice, stable surface without either tripping over my own feet or over nothing. Whichever came first. Or was more convenient.

"Sorry," I apologized quickly as I threw open the mahogany front door. Peach, bubbly as ever in her blush pink attire, smiled sweetly at me as I skidded to a stop. I couldn't help but smile back. Peach was one of those irresistible sweet blonds, the type that was gentle and would apologize if she even just breathed on you by accident. But behind the pretty face and makeup she was a walking-talking dormant volcano. Literally. In other words, if you riled Peach up beyond reason, you'd winning yourself a one-way, and not entirely healthy, expense-paid trip to the afterlife. Bowser Koopa learned that the hard way. Poor guy's probably traumatized for the rest of his life.

Despite the obvious—okay, maybe not—danger that Peach was, I wasn't worried about her just then. It was the ticking blond bomb in electric blue next to her that scared me silly. Think of a Guerilla Warfare Barbie, with long blonde hair tied back in a ponytail wearing a lightning blue shirt and denim jeans. Then add a murderous smirk onto the Barbie's face. Ta-da! You've got a Samus.

Samus glared at me, her lip curling back dangerously. Like any sane person with survival skills would've done, I immediately moved back a pace before she could come into close quarters. Letting a pissed off Samus to get close to you is suicide. I know that first hand. Barbie dolls aren't usually life-threatening, but you'd be biting off more than you could ever chew with Samus. Trust me.

I am so screwed.

"Look," I protested as I continued to back up, keeping a safe distance between me and Samus's suspiciously twitching fingers, "I said I was sorry! Besides, it's not even 4:15 yet."

"We told you to meet us at 4:00," Samus growled, her expression murderous. "You've had us waiting out here for more than _ten minutes_. You get me? It's 4:13."

"Yes," I said in a placating tone. "It is. But remember, it's Marth, Ike, and the others who are picking us up, right?" I still maintained the length of a van between me and my best friend and soon-to-be murderer.

"Yes." Samus's answer was curt. I could tell she wanted to cut the chitchat and just get to strangling me.

"And they're usually at least fifteen minutes late," I stated proudly, a smug grin plastered across my face. Samus's murderous intentions faltered. She could see the infallible and undeniable logic behind my reasoning.

"Maybe you're right," Samus sighed, frowning.

"When am I not, Aran?"

"Don't push it, Harkinian." But her smile was genuine this time. That was good. My death was postponed to another time.

Peach giggled, and Samus and I couldn't help but join in. Charismatic little Peach could send a country on strike if she wanted to. But being docile pacifist, she preferred to keep the killing between me and Samus to a minimum, instead of inciting more not so eco-friendly wars.

"So, what's today's agenda?" I asked, hitching my knapsack a little higher up as Samus stared at the sky as if she were thinking about different ways to punish the boys for being so late. I pitied them. Peach opened her frilly bubblegum-pink planner that had been tucked under her arm and consulted it.

"Hmmm… Let's see. Today's the fifth of February. About nine days until Valentine 's Day... Well, I guess we'll be choosing which song to perform in honor of my favorite holiday." She snapped the book shut. "Pit said he was working on a special song."

"Probably to keep you happy," I muttered in undertone. "No sane person wants you trying to rip them limb from limb for ignoring your favorite holiday."

As I said before, an angry Peach is _not _something you'd ever want to see.

Peach giggled. "I guess I am a bit overprotective of Valentine's Day." Haha. No kidding.

"And enthusiastic," Samus added. "Last time, you decorated my whole house with red and pink roses. Just because we were celebrating didn't mean you had to unearth your whole garden and plop it into my living room."

Peach tittered, blushing. "I'm sorry, I got carried away."

"Don't I know it," Samus laughed. "But it actually looked nice, though."

"When does anything I ever dress up does look bad?" Peach questioned, looking amazed. "I wasn't aware that any of my works were a failure."

"…You don't need to rub it in."

"Teehee!"

The sudden sound of screeching tires turned our attention to the front of my driveway. A small green Honda parked at the edge of the sidewalk, and a slightly feminine looking azure-haired boy in blue hopped out of the vehicle, smiling apologetically. I checked my watch. 4:15 exactly. Samus and I exchanged amused glances as we walked toward the car.

Marth was still smiling sheepishly. "Sorry 'bout that. We had to drop Ike off at Pit's, y'know, because there wouldn't be enough room for you guys. Anyways, Link's waiting."

He ushered us toward the car. Samus, Peach, and I clambered in as he slid into the front seat. Pop blared from the radio. The blond boy in the driver's seat turned to smirk crookedly at us, his cerulean eyes bright.

"Hey, Zel, Samus, Peach." Link grinned at the annoyed look on Samus's face. "Sorry about being late and all. Sam, when we get to Pit's house, keep the mauling and killing to a minimum, alright? Pit'll be mad if you get rid of the bassist and keyboard pianist. And he'll be worse if he has to clean up the blood stains." The green of his T-shirt accented the nice blue of his eyes. Mmm….

Samus huffed as she turned away, muttering, "Stupid. What's wrong with a little blood? Geez.."

Link turned his gaze on me before turning back around. My heart spluttered hyperactively like a jackhammer on a sugar high. Samus had lost her angry pout and was now giving me an amused look.

Dammit, Marth. I want your seat.

"You like him, Zel." Peach's soft whisper broke through my fruitless attempt at telepathically ejecting Marth out the window.

"Hm?" I mumbled, disoriented. "Who?"

"The blond guy you've been drooling over since hour one," Samus chimed in proudly. I was miffed.

"Link and I have been friends since childhood," I retorted, shooting a worried glance at Link and Marth. Luckily, the music was loud enough to mask our whispers. And to make thing a little safer, Marth and Link were having a heated debate. "I wasn't lewd at the age of eight."

"But you are now." Samus was still grinning.

"Because of your influence," I grumbled, turning away with poor grace. It didn't matter what I said now. Samus would always be convinced that she was right.

As much as I wished she weren't, she was. Not that I would ever let her know it.

It wasn't that Link was probably the cutest guy in the world. That was only part of it. We were friends since childhood. Link was an orphan. His parents, who were friends of mine, died in a car crash. When that happened, my father and mother took him in while his uncle mad his way across the country. Once his uncle had found lodging for both him and Link, Link moved in with only living relative. But his apartment was near my family's home, so he visited often. We were nearly inseparable in elementary school. We walked together to school. Had study lessons at my house. Watched rented movies at his.

Link was the best friend I could ever ask for. He was everything a girl could want. He'd always been cute, sure. But he had a good temper too, considering that he was able to put up with a short-fused bomb like me. He had a good sense of humor, one that could cheer me up no matter what, whether I did horrible on a test or I was just mad for the heck of it. He was always ready to make time for me. But he had his faults, too, such as being too nice at times and having a tendency to talk to animals. But those faults made me like him more. After all, he was only human. I wanted to damn him to the deepest pits of hell for being such an irresistible guy.

On second thought… no, I wouldn't do that. But I wish I could do something to make Link less decent and more of a stuck up bastard. Then maybe I wouldn't be so attracted to him.

Maybe. Okay, probably not.

"We're here," Peach said, prodding me in the side so I squeaked. I thrust the door and open and climbed out the car, miraculously keeping my balance for the moment. Peach, Samus, and Marth followed as Link turned off the ignition and joined us. The house in front of us was huge, white and picturesque as any mansion in fairytales. I could see a petite brunette boy peering out from behind one of the curtains. Marth waved, and Pit came out of the house, looking disgruntled.

"Good, you're here. Hurry up, into the music room! Go go go!" It was remarkable how the small blue-eyed brunette boy managed to look almost as threatening as Samus armed with a bazooka. I decided I didn't like that, and hurried to make it to the door before he found something to urge us with.

I did the natural thing. I tripped.

As I stumbled on my way to the door, a strong hand grasped me from behind. I retained by balance with the steady strength Link gave me, silently cursing myself for being so clumsy.

"You okay?" Link asked quietly, a look of concern in his eyes. Let me see, Link. I've been in love with you for who knows how long, and you probably think of me as nothing more than a sister. Oh, and I'm deathly afraid that Samus is gonna tell you, because I'm too much of a coward to say it myself. Besides, there's a Calculus test next week, and I'm afraid I'm going to fail.

"I'm fine," I mumbled. He could see through the façade, obviously. But he just pursed his lips together and studied me curiously. I looked down, not meeting his eyes as we made our way to Pit's music room. Luckily, I didn't trip this time. A miracle.

Pit was tapping his foot impatiently as Link and I stepped into the room. That wasn't a good sign.

"'Bout time," he muttered, beginning to pace back and forth. The music room's ceilings to floor windows were open, letting the cool breeze to filter in. Golden light drifted through, emphasizing the wooden panels of the floor naturally. Ike, a blue-haired boy with extremely messy hair was sitting at the drums, was retying his red bandana over and over. Marth was sitting cross-legged on the floor, Peach and Samus lounging near him. Link and I sat down, too, and all of us stared at Pit with enough intensity to burn a hole through his shirt.

"Pit's being grumpy," Ike said, smiling at us.

"No kidding," I muttered sarcastically.

"Now that the whole band's assembled, we can get started," Ike continued, ignoring me.

The seven of us, Pit, Link, Marth, Ike, Peach, Samus, and me were a band. A pop band, actually. We didn't for it for school or anything. It was simply what it was; a group of friends interested in the same thing. Samus was lead guitar, and Link was bass. Marth was the keyboard pianist. Ike was drums. Peach was the rhythm guitarist and back-up vocalist. Pit was our song-writer. I was the lead vocalist and sometimes rhythm guitarist, when Peach wanted to try her hand at being lead. Heaven forbid, we weren't the type of band to go around parading madly. How could we, when their lead vocalist (AKA yours truly) had stage fright? It wasn't the best thing to do when trying to show off your skills, if you catch my drift.

"Anyways," Pit continued, still pacing back and forth. "I need to tell you this. The student council's given us a request."

"Hm?" Samus asked, looking up from her seat on the wooden floor. "What request?"

Pit took in a deep breath. "They want us to perform at the Valentine's Day festival."

Say what?

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	2. Chapter 2

"Dammit, Zel, wake up. Can you hear me? _Now._"

"I can't hear you," I mumbled incoherently and turned over, burrowing myself deeper into the warmth of my thick blankets. It was a nice morning, the first few rays of sunlight lighting my room up with a soft golden glow. I could feel the warm rays touching my skin even through the thick swathe my sheets were. It was relaxing. As much as I liked Link, it didn't stop me from wishing I could whack some sense into him with a good ol' fashioned frying pan to the head. He knew better than to try to wake a lazy little monster like me up. At least, I hoped he did.

I peeked one eye at him and glared at him drowsy hate. He was standing over me, dressed in an evergreen T-shirt and beige pants, looking amused and exasperated. The morning light made his hair glint like it was gilded, and his eyes were completely free of any drowsiness.

Darn it. I couldn't even stay mad at him for longer than two minutes. Life must loathe me.

Or at least severely dislike me, seeing what it's putting me through.

"For Heaven's sake, Zelda, get up," he said, shaking me gently.

"It's not Heaven's sake I'm worried about," I grouched as I pressed my face deeper into my pillow. "It's mine."

He sighed, managing to sound both entertained and frustrated. "If you had an ounce of self-preservation, you'd get up and get ready before Samus comes to cleave your heart out. You know the crash course Pit wants us to go through."

"Pit-schmit," I muttered. I was still peeved at him for agreeing to the student council's request. A surprise decision wasn't the best way to make me agree. Or prepare me, either. Of course, no one cared about my sanity, since it literally doesn't exist.

"You're driving me mad, Zel."

"Mission accomplished, then," I said as I turned over again. He huffed, still managing to sound adorably peeved.

"Up."

"No way."

"Please?" I could hear the pleading tone of his voice. I hissed and tried to press my head deeper than it already was into my cushion. After all, he may not have known it, but he had the power to make me jump off a cliff if he wanted to. I wasn't going to give him a chance to test out his psychic power over me.

Yes, my strange way of thinking is so healthy for me. Who knew love could be so damaging to your health? Oh, right, it isn't. Because most love-struck people are actually sane.

Well, whatever. Their loss.

"No way," I insisted, yanking my blankets back.

"C'mon, Zel? Pretty please?" Tug.

"No way." Yank.

"Red Wood forest." Jerk.

"No way." Tug again.

"The Parthenon." Yank.

"No way." Tug.

"Taj Mahal." Pull.

"Not a chance in hell." Yank.

He laughed, still trying to untangle the sheets from my body. I slapped at him, squeaking slightly.

"Zelda, it's just a band practice. It's not going to kill you."

"That's what you think," I said ruefully, still stuck resolutely in my bed.

"Why?" He sounded genuinely curious. "It's just a rehearsal."

"That leads to a very big performance that it'll either end with me tripping to my death off the stage, or the crowd will die laughing at my attempt at singing. Whichever. Whatever. I want to sleep."

"You're overreacting. You're the best singer we've got," he stated, his hands still in a tug-of-war match against my resolute grip on the bed covers.

"Haha. What's the punch line?"

"You're just scared."

I frowned, still hidden under my covers. He was right. I am a 'fraidy cat. It's a wonder how I'm able to walk and talk without being afraid of embarrassing myself.

Yeah, fat lot of good it'll do to the world if I suddenly decided to turn myself into a hermit, just to make sure I don't embarrass myself ever again. That would mean one less crazy psycho girl running around amok.

Actually, that's pretty environmentally healthy. Maybe…

Something jerked my out of my bed before I could fully contemplate the pros and cons of becoming a hermit, my covers falling to the floor as some unseen force lifted me off. I yelped with surprise, then glared angrily at Link, who was now making his way out the door and down the stairs, me still caged in his arms. He rolled his eyes at me as I swatted my hand at his face.

"Let. Me. Down," I demanded as he carried me through the living room towards the kitchen.

"And let you run all the way back upstairs? I don't think so," he scoffed, smiling. "I'm not willing to let all my hard work go to waste."

Link, I officially hate you for being such a cute goddamn bastard of a human being.

He plopped me unceremoniously down on a relatively hard chair, ignoring my loud "Hey!" of annoyance. A considerable feat, really, considering how most people across the country were probably looking up and wondering "Who said that?"

"You're paying for my medical bills," I told him sourly as I rubbed my backside. "Stupid, conniving, idiotic, obnoxious, son of a-"

He ignored the long stream sleepy, derogatory abuse aimed at him. He turned toward cook top, grabbing a frying pan from the cabinet beneath it. He set it down, then whirled like a little green-and-gold tornado around my fairly small kitchen, snatching up a carton of eggs and two plates. Link went back to his starting point, grabbed a few eggs, and then cracked them, letting the contents spill onto the previously oiled frying pan. The smell of sizzling eggs wafted into the air.

A few minutes later he plunked a platter of sunny-side up eggs down in front of me. I stared up at him in wonder.

"You know, I never knew my little kitchen could survive the magnitude of a natural disaster," I said, mildly impressed. "Now I know I'll be protected from tornados."

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, Heaven forbid you be protected from tornados and childhood friends who are trying to help you."

"If you were trying to help me, you'd let me sleep," I said ruefully, eyeing the eggs with suspicion. I wasn't ready to eat just yet.

"Put it this way, Zel; I don't like seeing fellow humans being decapitated by the ruthless wrath of Samus Aran, Devil of the underworld. Especially since I'd be lonely without you berating my intelligence." He grinned at me. "It'd be boring."

"That's nice," I said, leaning back in my chair. "It's nice to know people actually care about you."

He laughed. "See? Now, hurry up and eat, we've got to get there in fifteen minutes."

"I don't need to eat," I said, pushing the plate away as I got up. "Let's go."

He pushed me back down. "Eat."

"I'm fine. Let's just go," I protested, trying to get up.

Between Link's intention of keeping me stuck to my wonderfully hard chair and my own typical klutziness, I had a feeling I wouldn't be moving anywhere anytime soon.

"You are going to eat," he commanded, keeping his hand on my shoulder. "I'm not letting you up until you've eaten every last bit."

I glowered at him. "I don't know why you're being so controlling, but this is a waste of time. Let's go."

Of course he wouldn't let me move an inch.

"I'm hurt, Zel," Link said, mocking sadness quite effectively as he place one hand over his supposedly broken heart, although the other stayed stuck to my shoulder. "Do you really think I'm that bad a cook?"

"N-no…."

"Then why won't you eat?" His eyes were wide and curious, but his mouth was twitching slightly.

"I don't feel like it."

It wasn't that the eggs didn't smell appetizing. They smelled great. They looked good, too. I just couldn't stand the fact that Link, the one guy I wanted and the one I could never have, had made me breakfast and acted as if it were nothing. Almost like we were siblings.

Okay, maybe it seemed like it. That didn't stop me from wishing that we were something more.

"I just don't want to eat, Link," I whispered, turning away. I started getting up when I remembered one little obstacle; Link's hand was clamped on my shoulder. I was shoved back into my seat by one of the strongest things on the planet, Link's hand.

"Eat," he commanded, all pretense of hurt gone.

Of course, I objected. "N-no! I don't need to eat, Link!"

He smiled in a way that made my heart thump. "Zelda, think about it. Right now, I have the upper hand. You're stuck to your chair, while I have all the versatility of one who isn't barred by anything. And you're still sleepy," he added as I yawned involuntarily. "I'll force you to eat if I have to."

I thought about it, then decided Link's course of action was easier.

"Okay," I agreed. Link frowned slightly, almost as if I said something wrong. Self-conscious, I demanded, "What?"

"Oh, nothing," he said, a mystified expression on his face. "It's just that the Zelda I know would never agree so readil- oh, I see." His face darkened. "Alright, tell me the truth. Who are you, and what have you done to the Zelda Harkinian I know?"

I was flabbergasted for a moment, but my natural wits reasserted control. "Oh, gee, I don't know," I said sardonically. "Maybe she's _right in front of you_. Oh, wait, that can't be her. It must be her evil clone!"

Link nodded appreciatively. "That's better. Now you sound more like the Zelda Harkinian we all know and love!"

Hah. Don't I wish that were the case.

"Now eat," he said, pushing the plate of food back towards me. I stared at it for a moment, then unceremoniously speared an egg with a fork and began wolfing it down.

"Well…?" Link prompted as I swallowed the last bite, taking the fork and plate before I could get up. "How was it?"

"Good," I said, studying him suspiciously. "Since when have you started cooking?"

"Oh, last year. I got too lazy to keep on going to the fast-food restaurants all the time," he said, rinsing the utensils. "I'm actually pretty good at pumpkin soup now. Not as good as you are, but good enough."

"…You're insulting me, aren't you?"

He shook his head, grinning. "I'd never insult your cooking, Zel. I'm not just saying that because you'd beat me till I'm black and blue if I said anything different."

I sighed and made my way up the stairs.

"What're you doing?" Link called after me. I could hear the clanking as he dropped the plate into the sink.

"Changing," I said promptly. "No way am I going out in my pajamas."

"What a shame," I heard him call after me, his tone joking. I flushed red.

"I can kick your butt all the way into orbit if you piss me off," I snapped grumpily. I heard him chuckle.

"But then you'll miss it."

"True enough," I agreed wistfully as I pushed the door closed.

"And….once again!" Pit urged as Ike set his sticks down. Link strummed his bass and Marth played a quick scale on the keyboard. Samus plopped her guitar onto the floor.

"We've been practicing the whole day," Sam grumbled. "Look at the time. 6:00. SIX. O'CLOCK."

"You're point?" Pit prompted.

"You're hopeless," she muttered, frowning as she glared at the floor, her blond hair glinting in the red glow of the sunset.

"You're impatient," he countered as he stretched leisurely, shaking his brown hair back, his locks catching the light as well. The rest of us switched our gazes from Pit to Samus, as if it was a tennis match we were watching instead of verbal abuse.

"You're impertinent."

"You're idi-"

"Shut the hell up," Ike said as he pushed Pit onto the floor. "You're giving me a headache."

"Well, I don't want to keep practicing this song for the rest of the day!" Samus complained, glowering at Ike. Peach and Marth looked at each other, shrugged, then glanced at Link. Link had his hand tapping his chin as he studied us.

"Frankly, I'd agree," Link said, his eyes flitting from each of us in turn. "Mr. Dragmire's giving us a Calculus tomorrow, and I think we need to study."

Pit harrumphed. "I see how it is, Link. You traitor! Backstabber!"

"Why, thank you," Link said. "Besides, I think we've done enough today. I mean, I feel like my fingers are going to fall off."

Marth and Samus nodded, Samus sticking her tongue out at Pit. Peach shrugged.

"I guess my fingers do hurt a bit," she agreed, checking her fingertips.

Pit groaned playfully, but smiled at us. "Okay, I guess. We'll meet again next week?"

"Sure," I said as Peach and Samus bobbed their heads. Marth turned to Link, who was getting up.

"You don't need to send me home," Marth said. "Ike and I are staying back for a bit. That okay, Link?"

"Sure," Link decided as he headed toward the door. "Hurry up, Zel."

"Coming," I said as I rushed after him.

We made our way down the driveway, bathed in the crimson light of the sunset. It wasn't awkward, really. Just one of those friendly silences in which no one had anything to say.

"You need help studying?" Link asked suddenly as we paused in front of his car, his hand holding the door open for me. "I could help you, if you like." He smiled sheepishly, and I grinned back.

"Sure. Thank you," I said as I climbed in. He shut the door behind me, then got in himself.

"Anytime," he said. "Anything."


End file.
